Dealing with dating setbacks.

Felecci was my college sweetheart.  Dating her was easy.  We communicated well, we both enjoyed one another’s sense of humor, and we had major chemistry.

I am finding that my experience with Felecci was the exception, not the rule.  I recently thought I was in the beginning stages of what would be a great relationship.  I didn’t know how far it would go, but I didn’t see the ending coming.

All of the same signs were there, but this time overnight it went from all systems go to “I don’t want a relationship”.  I’m not mad at her, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me.  I just am befuddled that I didn’t see it coming.  I was honestly blindsided.

While I was in a relationship before, the previous one I ended.  I know why I ended it, and it wasn’t because I went from wanting monogamy to not wanting to be in a relationship overnight.  I let someone go because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to be the person she needed and deserved.  Rather than drag it on and hurt her more, I came clean as soon as I understood this fact.

Perhaps that is what happened to me?  I don’t know.  I don’t know if it matters.  I wish she didn’t make that decision, but she did and I have to move on.  We had a great weekend together, and now it’s over.  The sinking feeling in my stomach though took a little while to go away.  It really did hit me harder than it should have.

I miss Felecci a little more today.  I knew where I stood with her.  I miss being comfortable with a person, and perhaps that is what actually hurt here.  Maybe I had blinders on?  I don’t think I will know for sure till I have some distance.

But I was comfortable, and I was hoping I got more out of this last relationship than I did.  They say this is one of the dangerous parts of being a widow/er.  The first time someone rejects you, it can hurt more than it should.

I wouldn’t call it hurt so much because the relationship didn’t really get started.  But it did catch me off guard.

Dating post-loss can be hard man.  At least I hope R. finds what she is looking for.  She is a great person, and she deserves to be happy.  For that matter, so do I.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s